One morning last week I ran across this gem by author and poet, Mark Nepo: “Each person is born with an unencumbered spot—free of expectation and regret, free of ambition and embarrassment, free of fear and worry—an umbilical spot of grace where we were each first touched by God.”
Wait a minute, I thought. He’s talking about my spiritual belly button!
And he’s not even being a little bit silly. His words remind me that as surely as my mother gave birth to my body, God gave birth to my soul. I was made by Love, in love, for love. And a sacred place in the center of my being is permanently marked by the memory of this making.
For me, this center is where I connect to my truest, most authentic self. And when I live from this place, I find freedom from the tyranny of my ego.
To be honest, some days, this knowledge—that I really am born of God and some remnant of his perfect divine spark still lives in me—is the only part of my life that makes sense.
The same morning I read about my spiritual belly button, I also ran across this line from Brennan Manning: “God’s love is based on nothing, and this is where we find our security.”
If “based on nothing” leaves you feeling anything but secure, consider this: Because God’s love for us isn’t based on anything, nothing can shake it.
Taken together, the two quotes suggest a way to think about God’s love that goes way beyond the human version we so often project onto him. For example, we tend to think of love as a feeling we have in response to another person. But feelings can be fragile and fleeting, so we easily get insecure.
How many of us have ever said to a spouse or lover: “But why do you love me? Tell me all the reasons.” And the person will try. They’ll list some of our finer qualities and more endearing quirks.
But to God, love needs no “whys,”because it is Who he is. If God could find in me even one reason to love me, it would be devastating, since it would mean that with a little more thought on his part, or a little worse day on mine, he could find a reason not to.
More and more, when I don’t feel God’s love, I’m learning not to ask him to remind me of all the ways I’m special (which only appeals to my ego anyway). Instead, I make time to sit in silence with him, naked in my soul as the day I was born, with nothing to say and nothing to give and nothing to show and nothing to prove my worth.
Only then does some deep part of me understand that I can’t do anything to make God love me more or less. In that moment, I manage to touch that umbilical spot of grace that marks the truth of Whose I am.
And it saves me.
P.S. I realized late that this piece is one side of the two sided miracle of God’s love. His love is based on nothing, but it’s anything but an impersonal force. This post is the other half of the story: Smitten
I really like this…just really resonates that I don’t have to try to earn the love that already available. Thanks much
Too many wins to count. I’ll be sharing this. Blessings to you, Heather. I love how you are connecting with God’s heart in the most beautiful and human of ways. YAY!
“I was made by Love, in love, for love.” Thank you for this!
You’re so welcome, Karen. Thanks for stopping by!
Spiritual belly button… Love it Heather.
David! So cool to see your name here. Thanks for reading! Drop us a line sometime and catch us up on you and yours. We miss you. H
Linda, that’s so funny. I must have blocked that review from my mind. Animal Fair probably was a bit navel gazing, but I tend like books that do that.
I mean, there’s a fine line between honest introspection and celebrating lint. I used to call Animal Fair S.A.D. Self absorbed drivel. I feel a lot more kindly toward my young self now… I loved your comment so much. Can I hire you to be a professional commenter for my blog? 
I’m glad to comment. Your insights make me think semi-deep thoughts.
How captivating that our umbilical cord of grace remains center in our lives. What a beautiful, wonderful word picture. Even when venture out of bounds, the cord remains intact. Drawing us back; keeping us connected. What a gift your writing is, my Friend.
Donna, I love your take on this piece! Thanks so much for your words, friend.
The title of today’s post reminded me of the (awful) book review I once read for Animal Fair. The reviewer said it was “so much navel-gazing.” I remember feeling really irritated. My navel tells me all sorts of cool stuff! Like how not to go around with a crabby look on my face. How to lift my gaze away from my brokenness and on to your needs. It nudges the primal out of us, the base places that are so scared, terrified that he/she will leave us, frightened that we won’t be good enough. Maybe that’s why God meets us there with that neonatal grace–he knows we wouldn’t understand any other kind.
Love you, Heather!
Oh…I just love this. I want to BE love, too, just like Him!
Thanks, Heidi! Me too, me too, me too.
Thanks Heather. Such a beautiful expression of life by the Spirit. Would I be accurate in equating your frequent concerns with “ego”, to the constant temptation to live “by the flesh”?
I never tire of grace, experiencing it, hearing about it, talking about it. As we approach nothingness on any level, it is so encouaging to remember that God created everything from nothing.
I heard it put that the starting point of theology (the discipline of understranding God) is the fact that God does not need us (or anything for that matter – God is self sufficient/whole). This dynamic should never be confused with God not wanting us – in fact that is God’s soul desire. Therefore, everything He did/does in relation to us flows out of love.
Although the subject of love is inexhaustible, you captured well the dynamic of love being “about the other, for the sake of the other”. Our need to be loved is one of those infinite and eternal holes of the soul, and God, often through the vehicle of other people, fills that hole. The emotion component of our soul may not always “feel it”, but the reality does not change, for as others highlighted, “nothing can separate from the love of God in Christ Jesus”.
Tangible ways I experience God’s love? Seeing transformation in hindsight. So different from achieving a goal I set (no matter how much religious language my own efforts were couched in). It reminds me of the expression “surprised by grace” when I am honest to ackowledge that my own efforts were never adequate in previously effecting these changes. Sometimes it can be a little obscured because I participated in it to the extent that “it is God who cause us to will and to do according to His good pleasure”.
Me in God (inside of grace), God in and through me (living out of grace) ……..
Tom, yes you’d be accurate. I think I just spent too many years in an evangelical atmosphere and got worn out on phrases like “by the flesh.” They can just sound so churchy or religious and I just happen to be in a space where it helps me so much to trade out other terms and ways of seeing things. I love your comments here, especially the surprised by grace reference. I too experience God in that small jolt of recognition that he has been at work redeeming my past and helping me change–in spite of me.
I experience God’s love when I am working with person’s with special needs. I’m supposed to be teaching them, but they always teach me more! They don’t let their ‘ego’ get in the way of their pure happiness and soul. I often see God in their eyes and I smile knowing He is in ALL of us! Great post Heather!
Wow. Thanks for sharing this. And such a profound observation about these folks not letting their ego get in the way. Wish I could live more that way.
And your publisher might like that as a book title one of these fine days.
Ha. That’s a great idea.
You uncover and expound on the deepest deeps. And I leave here stirred, thinking and basking in His love, unworthy though I am. Beautiful, Heather
Thanks so much, Elizabeth. I love seeing your face here. If you ever stop commenting, I’ll miss you!
It is so great how connected we are in the Spirit as believers, and that we can share and touch each others lives even through the internet. I am thankful and blessed by you writings and appreciate that you and others give to this calling.
Cheri, that’s a beautiful response. I couldn’t agree more.
This is so precious. Thanks Heather!
Adrienne, I’m so glad you like it. Thanks so much for taking time to say so.
Wonderful post Heather. God loves us in our frailty, and I have so much of it to offer. Your words remind me that it is senseless to ever try and impress God through what I do. You’re correct, if I could impress him, I could also disappoint him. Good work!
Great way to put it! It’s so easy to forget, isn’t it?
Loved this.
Gillian! I love you and your blog. Wasn’t expecting to see your name here. Thanks so much for reading and for your comment.
yeah, like they said above. WOW! thanks
Marjie, you’re so welcome. Thanks for being such a faithful reader and so generous with your feedback.
That was just totally awesome! Your words so clearly explained Paul’s statement about being convinced that “nothing can separate us from the love of God.” It gave me a whole new understanding of that verse, thank you for the serenity.
Nancy, I’m so glad this post touched you. Thanks for letting me know.
W O W !
I’m going back to this one again and again. I’m sending everyone i know to this one.
Wow!
Sharon, thank you.