Art by Gigi Hackford, used by permission
Dear Reader,
I don’t have a post for you this morning, so I thought I’d drop you a letter instead. Remember those? Once upon a time people used ink pens to write down their news on actual paper (like from trees) and they sent it in the mail.
It was actually kinda cool. Or maybe you had to be there.
Anyway, I’ve hit one of those spots again where suddenly writing my blog seems hard. And you know what I do when that happens. I try harder! And harder!
And then, at the end of the trying comes the giving up, which is always the best part.
Ironically, one of the posts I couldn’t pull together for today included this Frederick Buechner quote:
“Our human best tends to be at odds with the holy best. To do for yourself the best you have it in you to do—to grit your teeth and clench your fists in order to survive the world at its harshest and worst—is by that very act, to be unable to let something be done for you and in you that is more wonderful still.”
His words are especially applicable to addicts, of course. We’re famous for trying to do our best long after it’s proven insufficient.
But what this quote brought to my mind so strongly is how as kids we’re taught that it’s okay to fail as long as we try our hardest, as long as we do our very best.
But you know what? I rarely do my very best. And trying my hardest has often landed me in a mess.
Maybe what we should tell our kids instead is that it’s okay to fail as long as they give something an honest try, as long as they ask for help when they need it, as long as they refuse to beat themselves up for falling short of perfect.
In the meantime, as I’ve tried and failed to write a post, life has kept happening.
And it was good.
I saw a fabulous French movie with Dave on Friday night called, Rust and Bone. You gotta go. And then after the movie, you gotta go next door to Josh and John’s for ice cream cones and talk about the scene where she goes back to visit the whale that put her in the wheelchair…
Warning: It’s not a Hollywood plot. Much more like real life, so if you’re not into that kind of thing, skip it!
In another lovely twist, last week I got a new twenty-something sponsee, and I made another new friend who wanted to try our church on Sunday, and she didn’t even mind that the sermon was mostly about hippos.
I have to run now, since I have work to do that isn’t the blog—a couple projects I’m helping Dave with. And I need to do our taxes this week, too. And a bunch of other random stuff.
So if you don’t hear from me much this week or next, don’t worry. It doesn’t mean I’m sitting here breaking my neck trying to write the best post there ever was, though my ego would love that.
It just means that I’m busy, and that life is happening as it should, and that sometimes God’s holy best for me looks different than I thought it would.
Have a great week, friends! I really do love you.
Sometimes I like to just take a day and read other blogs like I am doing today. I feel like it’s the visiting we used to do once upon a time over the back fence, kinda like writing those letters. I have enjoyed it….I am always blessed by your words, Heather. Funny, I just saw an ad for that movie today and wondering about it. May just have to go…..Bless you. Lori
“Maybe what we should tell our kids instead is that it’s okay to fail as long as they give something an honest try, as long as they ask for help when they need it, as long as they refuse to beat themselves up for falling short of perfect.” … Thanks for this. Can’t tell my own kids, but I WILL start telling my students. …
(Oh, and by the way, you don’t mind if I copy and paste this into my own blog. Jeesh! What happened to all the things I thought I had to say. Ha.)
Jane, you’re so funny. Isn’t it amazing too how some days we feel like words are brimming over and so we assume it will last and what we didn’t say yet will still be there tomorrow and then the next day, we’re leaning into the well so far we think we’ll fall in and still we can’t see a sign of water? Hope you day is swell and overflowing, if not with not with thoughts and words, with contentment. Love ya, Heather
How beautiful it all is.
Heather, take a good break. We’ll be here waiting when you get back! xo
Hippos! A tremendous study. It’s amazing how vicious the hippo is. My wife and I have made a huge analogy of the similarity between hippos and elephants. They’re both big and gray, and love water. Both are absolutely dangerous (especially in china shops.) But you must run away from the hippo. Abusers are very similar. It can be hard to distinguish between lumbering, dangerous, inadvertent abusers and narcissistic, territorial abusers.
I hear ya! Have a good week! We’ll be here when you return!
I love the phrase “God’s holy best.” So much freedom in this post, Heather.
I so think I should keep up the rigid schedule I used to live … the one where I wrote what I told myself I’d write, did what I ordered myself to do, showed up where I expected to show up like my writer’s group tonight, which I’m going to miss again. It’s an hour and a half drive and I just can’t do it tonight. And like you said, it’s okay to fall short (in my case, way short) of perfect attendance.
I could just cry. I love receiving permission not to try so hard. Thanks you.
Oh sweet friend. Love these words. The idea that I helped give someone permission not to try so hard is such a comfort. An hour and a half drive, though? I’m not sure I’d ever try that hard!
But I also know some groups are worth it. After getting this, I realized that I have my book group tonight and I am supposed to bring treats–and I had an MRI scheduled at the same time. (No worries, just a tailbone thing my doc wants checked). Jeesh, it’s amazing how I can live quite comfortably with two conflicting items on my schedule and not notice until hours before… 
Hugs to you.
And now I’m going to look for God’s holy best for the rest of the week …
Love this comment. Me too!
I needed this. Thank you!!
Oh you are so welcome, Laura. I needed to write it, I’m sure.
Thank you. Was telling my 6 year old yesterday that the results didn’t matter “as long as he gave it his best”. I am going to amend my encouragement. I much prefer the sound of giving it an honest try.
Thanks for this, Holli. So cool that you could apply it immediately. I wish I could reraise my own kids sometimes and do everything right this time, right? What’s scary is that I might blow a second chance more than the first. What a gift that all my kids still love me.
Hippos? I think that means you attend the only church in America that doesn’t think Superbowl Sunday is a holy day…
You’re too funny. Thanks for the smile.
Love you, too!
Best unblog I’ve ever read.
Peace enfold you as you wait on your Lord.
Thank so much for this. You’re right that of course it was a post, or an unpost, in the end.