On the Verge of Glory

Photo by Karina Hall

Photo by Karina Hall Goldman

Next week I’m going on a short vacation with Dave. But I think I’ll be taking a break from my blog for longer than that. Right now “quit deeper” sounds a lot like “do summer.” Which to me means unhooking from the online world and propping my bare feet on the dash of our pop top camper.

I thought I’d leave you with this beautiful photo taken by a friend of mine last Saturday. When I first saw it on my FB feed, I admired it for a few seconds before I realized I was in it. That’s me in the red polka dot dress. And believe it or not, the exotic looking landscape is Colorado Springs.

That evening, I attended a friend’s wedding reception at a home near this canyon. It was one of those events that could have been ordinary but ended up being magical. I felt relaxed and comfortable in my skin.  A few of my friends and I ate outside and talked and laughed while the sky threatened to rain on us but never did.

After dinner, one of the woman suggested we take a walk down the street a couple blocks. “I want to show you something,” she said.

And did she ever show us. Of course, we were all stunned by the gorgeous view.

But via this photograph, she showed me something more, too. Something so important and precious that I might cry if I try to explain.

So I’ll just say this. Sometimes, you don’t see your life clearly until you step away from it. Sometimes, you don’t see how much you’ve changed until you get some distance from yourself. Sometimes, you don’t understand how profound your humdrum existence really is until you see yourself in a photo standing on the verge of glory.

I hope all of you have a wonderful rest of summer. May you see yourself as God does. Hugs and love, Heather

P.S.  Here’s a post I wrote about camping with Dave in our pop top. It’s one of my favorites.

camper

Comments

  1. BurnedOutRoadSideHooker says:

    Hello All. Jo, alcoholic. When I came to AA my daily day went like this. I got up in the morning sick with fear. You know that fear you get when you are really afraid of something that is real. I would go to the bathroom thinking, “I can’t make it through this day.” Then I would search my drawers for the pint of vodka I hid the day before. With shaking hands I tip the bottle up and take 2 really big swigs. I had to be careful cause I couldn’t drink tooooo much tooooo early in the a.m. I looked in the mirror and thought, “How can I possibly get ready for work?” It would take me at least an hour and two more swigs from the vodka bottle to get dressed and get the face ready. Two more swigs and I could finally look out the front door and start the long walk to the car. This process took an amazing amount of will power to accomplish. The fear was still sitting in the pit of my stomach, a few more swigs and I could make the office. I was feeling pretty normal by the time I talked to my boss. Chit, chat. I had to make sure he didn’t know what I did yesterday. Then I was free for the day. I was suppose to call on stores the rest of the day. As I got in the car, my hand was already reaching under the front seat for the vodka bottle. Then I would start driving. I would either drive to the local morning bar to meet with another salesman who drank like me or I would drive home. If I went home I would take out my reports and start writing what I used to call, “Jo’s famous fiction.” Of course, I now had a quart of vodka to help me with the rest of the afternoon. Getting drunk wasn’t an option anymore. The best I could hope for was to pass out for a few hours. Then I would be up to drink until I could once again pass out for a few hours. This continued all afternoon and throughout the night until once again I was looking in the bathroom mirror thinking, “I can’t make it through this day!” I couldn’t get drunk and I couldn’t get sober. And this went on and on and on until I just couldn’t do it one more day. I was an alcoholic of the hopeless variety. I had no hope that my life would get any better and I had a feeling of impending doom resting in the background of my mind. FEAR, Fear, Fear!!!
    Reading the BB and looking at my drinking made clear 3 pertinent idea’s. That I was an alcoholic, that no human power could relieve my alcoholism, and that God could and would if he were sought. I left the big questions to the SMART alcoholics. I gave up fighting. I got sober and have stayed sober following in the steps of the sober alcoholics that went before me.

    BrightSpot

    • God bless you!!! Thanks for sharing your story! May you continue to lean on God and live the life HE wants for you! Peace!

  2. Have a great summer Heather! Last Saturday I was having coffee with a friend when she said that I was so much different than I was 5 years ago! Wow! I really needed to hear that. I can’t see if from the inside. But I’m glad all the hard work I’ve put into my survivor journey is visible. I’ll miss you, but have fun and relax!

  3. Anonymous says:

    Miss you already! Have a GLORIOUS time with your honey!

  4. Happy summer, Heather! May the Lord bless your travels with more glorious vistas. Love to you & Dave!

  5. I will miss your posts, my friend, but I hope you “do summer” in just the way you need to and step outside to see more clearly. God’s richest blessings to you.

  6. Thanks for this encouragement Heather. Sometimes it is good when someone “says it” instead of assuming we all “know it”. (The transformation that is).

    I had a similar experience while renovating my house. The inside is literally transformed, but the outside still looks largely like before (landscaping hasn’t been done yet). I was sitting on the front porch thinking how so many people see me from the outside, but I’m enjoying the transformed inside.

    When others are willing to “come inside”, they tend to enjoy the experience as we share our journeys.

    Have a lovely summer. Sounds like you are ready to notice all that is good while keeping the ego “outside”.

  7. Beachluvn Annie says:

    When I get those “glimpses of glory” a content follows that ONLY sobriety, a personal relationship with God and moment to moment emotional presence brings. MIRACLE! Thanks sober boots, have a great summer, we’ll look forward to reading you in the fall.

  8. Unpluging and setting yourself free to go camping in that VW pop up with my wonderful brother Dave (your husband/lover) is indeed an admirable thing. May the windows of heaven bless & refresh you both. I’m very proud of you and admire you immensely. Most of all, I’m blessed to call you my “sister-in-love” & thank God for you, and for his bringing you into our family. I love you Heather! Hugs to you both!

  9. Thank you so much for this blog Heather, it moved me to see that even in the mundane we are on the verge of glory…I love that. I’m starting to see myself as God does. I live in the southern hemisphere where it is winter now, but our winters are not too harsh. Enjoy your summer.

  10. Sharon R. Huffman says:

    loved the pic when I saw it, but was distracted by the women because I thought the girl in red looked like you. I decided it was you. Only then did I actually look the wonderful place you were in.

    Rich blessings for you summer!

    I loved the paragraph about ‘standing on the verge of glory’.

    Luv,

    Sharon

  11. Heather, have a good break. Im just about to quite FB and also my own blog permanently. Ive had enough of the “screen” and all the hassle and resentments from pretending to live….rather than go and see beautiful things such as your canyon. Take as much time off as you want…this virtual world is exhausting and I didnt get sober to be plugging in all the time either. Enjoy the trip and your life….good luck.

  12. Good for you Heather. Have a great summer & enjoy the camping.

  13. Good for you you should take a break from supporting & inspiring all of us. Get all of us off your shoulders!

  14. Deborah Gullett says:

    Praying for you! Have fun!

  15. God bless you, Heather. Have a great summer.

  16. Beautiful pic, Heather! I’ve been feeling this need to “quit deeper” too, which is why I haven’t posted recently. I admire you for taking some time off. I have a hard time “allowing” myself to unplug. Enjoy your time!

  17. My “One Day at a Time” bookmark says “Today I will take a quiet half hour for myself and get a perspective on my life.” (or something close to that) Sometimes we need way more than a half hour. I’m taking 3 months. In case your permission isn’t enough, you have my permission to take however long you need and come back new and refreshed. ;-)

  18. Love the dress and boots (is it the same dress as your blog pic?!) So cute. Enjoy every moment of unplugged grace-filled time.

  19. Butch Maltby says:

    Those are wise words. T.S. Eliot once wrote in “Choruses From The Rock”….”Where is the life we have lost in living?” It isn’t a rhetorical question as you know. Be safe in your travels. Pop-ups are real camping. Enjoy.

  20. Everything about this whole post is beautiful. Serious.

  21. Have a great time! I understand unplugging, because I’ve tried to do that to finish my you-know-what. Drop me a line when you get back. I hope to have news for you then.
    Hugs, good friend, and thanks for everything!

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